In our latest instalment of our thought leadership series: View from the Top, Ted Lougher, headmaster of King's College Junior School, talks about the importance of being nice...
As a new headmaster, the thing that I most looked forward to was my first assembly. On the first Friday of term, at long last, we had all the pupils together in the hall and I was able to make my first address. What a chance to set the tone for the years ahead! One only has a single opportunity to make a first impression and I considered my theme very carefully. What would I like to be the guiding principle of my headship? What would I like to prioritise above all else? Well, as straightforward as it may sound, I would like everyone to be nice.
This is not a revolutionary target, by any means, and I cannot take sole credit for the idea. My predecessor at KCJS, Dr Gerard Silverlock, often said that while it is nice to be important, it is more important to be nice, and another well-known headmaster, Sir Anthony Seldon, counts doing things for others and connecting with people among his 10 keys to happier living. In a school and world where there are so many different things to focus on, it is easy to lose sight of the simplest of ambitions: to be nice.
It is frustrating that, in some instances, being nice can be seen as a negative: to be nice is to be bland, indecisive or a pushover. In truth, there is no passivity in being nice. Being nice requires tolerance and generosity. Being nice requires empathy and compassion. Being nice requires us to turn the other cheek but not look the other way. It takes a concerted effort to be nice.
To encourage pupils to be nice, we have introduced five core values at school. These are kindness, inclusivity, honesty, bravery and patience. I have focused on kindness initially and given everyone three challenges to try with other pupils and staff members around school: smile, say hello and start a conversation. Kindness is its own reward: not only will a ripple effect afford each and every child the warmth of someone else’s greeting, engaging positively with others makes us feel good. In short, it pays to be nice.
It is very nice to have started my new job; it is very nice to have this opportunity to write for Talk ÍÑ¿ã°É; and, for all of us, I hope that the year ahead will… be nice.